Why I’ll only be dating Vegans…

October 7, 2017 Leave a comment

20171007_152617I put up this post the other day and got told that I was being judgmental and unreasonable. Wtf? Why? Ok first of all, we are all judgmental so lets not get ahead of ourselves. No matter how lovely and openminded of a person you think you might be, you judge people. Yes, you reading this, you are judgmental, and dont try to deny it. Secondly, I have a right to have a preference as to what type of man I would date do I not? If I said I wouldn’t date a short/tall/fat/skinny/brunette/blonde etc that would probably be acceptable and considered as simply my personal taste and preference. But when I say I wouldn’t date someone who eats dead animals you are offended? This makes no sense to me. The truth is, I MIGHT consider a meat eater but only because of my success rate of converting ex boyfriends to, at the least eating less meat and at best, becoming veggie/vegan. So I guess any potential man would have to know that he would need to make that transistion in order for us to have any type of chance together. He would most definitely need to be a vegetarian at the least for me to be seriously interested. Why? Well firstly, better health. Who wants a partner who isn’t fit and healthy? As a meat eater, his insides would probably be disastrous and his stools would be disgusting. Who wants to smell that? I certainly don’t. Plus meat is directly linked to heart disease, the number 1 killer of human beings in the world. Do you still want to eat meat knowing that? Do you want to turn round and die on me just as I was starting to fall deep?

Secondly, for his consideration of the environment. A man who has chosen not to eat animal products, if not just for his health, has chosen that path morally and for humane reasons, and possibly to help save the planet as he knows that giving a fuck about the planet and its future is sexy, not lame.
Another huge factor and reason for singling out veggie/vegan men is better sex. A study showed that meat eating men lasted an average of  57 minutes as opposed to vegetarian men who lasted 167 minutes. Not in bed, no; it was a study on a stationary bike, where participants had to pedal until their muscles failed. But as it’s representative of stamina and energy; I know who I’d rather knock boots with. And whether you are a sweet or savoury person, no one would turn down a veggies sweeter tasting semen over a meat eaters salty sex juice. Yuk.  If we ever do get to the intimate stage of sex, there is no way I am gagging for all the wrong reasons. (Sorry, too much I know, but I love making people wince) So vegetarian/vegan men last longer and taste better……. are you still questioning my preferences?

I also can’t be arsed to waste time discussing something with a man that is inevitably going to happen eventually anyway. There will always come a point when a person wants to open their minds and become more clued up about their health. I remember back and forthing for years with an ex about how much meat he consumed and how little plant based foods he ate, only for him to call me years later to tell me that he tried quinoa and its not that bad. Ok so, he had hardly turned veggie but it was a start. There is only so long people can eat and live a lie. Because that’s what you are doing when you eat meat. you are eating and living a lie. Being open about your food choices and being willing to have the discussion about why veganism is the way forward shows maturity and intelligence. Its only ignorance and fear that causes people to come out with silly comments like “I’d never give up meat, its good for me and my grandparents ate it”. Ignorance is NOT bliss, it’s unattractive and a huge put off for me. I’d happily date a meat eater who was open to changing his way of thinking and his food habits. But a wrong and strong meat eater? Hell no. What about you? Do you have any experiences of clashing with a partner or a potential partner based on your eating preferences and habits? Let me know!

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Looking back…. CRINGE!!

October 4, 2017 Leave a comment

When I look back at my past relationships I have to be honest, I can’t help but cringe. I cringe at their actions, I cringe at mine, and then I literally wonder how on earth was that me?? Like, who was that person? It’s really, really weird. I honestly could not imagine entertaining some of the rubbish and crazy antics that I did back then, now. I was a totally different person, attracting totally different scenarios and men. Don’t get me wrong, there are so many wonderful and beautiful memories and, for who I was back then, it was definitely Love at the time. But I just couldnt imagine doing some of the things I did, or accepting some of the things I accepted, now as this new grown up woman I am becoming. You may be imagining horror stories; cheating, controlling or abusive men. It was none of the above. Ok, controlling actually yes, controlling men was definitely a theme in my life. But they were good men you know? Ticked all the boxes as we like to say. It was just the things I seemed to make them do, and the things I did in return, that was so cringe. I will be using this word a lot, as it truly is the best word to describe the relationships I had. Other words best used to describe are probably dramatic, ridiculous, and plain arse crazy. At the time, my exes would tell me “you make me act this way, look what you are making me do”. And at the time I would think, what a flipping cop out, don’t blame me for your foolishness. But now in hindsight, I accept that blame. I definitely played a huge part in turning good men crazy. Now lets not be mistaken; I am not saying these men were perfectly perfect, can do no wrong, prince charming type men.  Oh they sure had their flaws and their deep rooted issues. But that never really bothered me; I was all about combing through those issues and being their confidante. But looking back I see a pattern; I clearly made a habit of sabotaging and finding fault where there was none. Or maybe there was. As everything happens for a reason right? But I was hard work, I put my hands up to that. So you’ve proved how much you love me? Good. Now prove it all over again. And how they did just that; over and over until they were left bewildered, dumbfounded and depressed at my continued lack of trust and inability to just “settle”. I guess the combination of my Libra desire to balance everything out paired with my Scorpion curiosity and cynicism meant I was always questioning, always weighing up the good with the bad. I didn’t trust people. I let my imagination run wild and before I could do anything to stop it, my partner, my best friend, was becoming an enemy, someone whose love I couldn’t believe, whose words I couldn’t trust, whose embrace I couldn’t feel safe in. Why? I’m not sure. I often see it as an excuse to “get out”. Things would be absolutely fine, maybe even too fine, and it would suffocate me. I never seemed to attract partners who were half hearted or not serious about me. They were fully in, and expected the same in return. The romances were blissful, the adventures wild and the sex, deep, intimate and freaky. There was NO REASON TO COMPLAIN. Except for this huge reason; I always seemed to say goodbye to Portia in order to cater to these relationships. I always, without question, gave up my solo life to support my partners endeavours. They want me by their side? No problem. I saw how much my love and support changed their lives and what it meant to them. They would beg me never to leave. Now they depended on me. Now I felt pressured. Now I wanted to run. But run where? I’ve abandoned my life! Now I resent them! When it was only my fault and my fault alone. I remember one time, sitting down in a hotel room in India and explaining to my current boyfriend that I wanted to move to Berlin, alone, to work on my writing and my (old) blog. He broke down, literally broke down in front of my eyes, tore his clothes apart, said how could I love him if I were willing to leave him? I held him close and promised I’d never leave. WTF. And that is my issue, not his. Hell yeah, he had serious issues, but so did I to not put myself first. Because ultimately what did it result in? Me feeling like I didn’t follow my heart, and him feeling like he wasted his love and time on a girl that ended up not being serious. Perhaps if I had left that day, we would be together now. But I stayed, I got depressed, dangerously depressed, and the relationship spiralled downwards. I’m not saying I would want to be with any of my past relationships now, I believe everything goes exactly how it is supposed to. I am just saying that, when you are free and true to yourself, what’s yours will always be yours. And I would have been happier if I had continued to pursue my own pursuits without the fear of losing what I thought was at the time possibly the most important relationship of my life. Fear. It’s a killer. And when I look back at my past partners, they were also riddled with it. The need to know everything about my past, how many sexual partners I’ve had, who I’ve “spoken to”. Its a mental illness. It’s ego mixed with insecurity mixed with immaturity mixed with control. And I have certainly had my fair share of all of that. And I am so over it! So over it that like I say, I look back and I cringe. The arguments that were usually over bullshit, the fights on the street (yes we went there, and yes I am cringing at myself), the crying, the snooping, the make ups. And I’m talking about both me and the guys. I was far from alone in this. But I clearly attracted it. There’s so much more to write and say and I will in another post. There is something therapeutic about just being raw, real and honest and laughing lovingly at the memories,  accepting and forgiving yourself for all the cringe moments. As long as you can recognise patterns and get to the source of why these habits occur, then growth is happening and you can keep going knowing next time you will do better, because you know better. You have to put yourself first and the only partner worthy of you is someone who encourages you to do that, not who wants you all for themself. Because I love the woman I am becoming from the inside out, I feel comfortable discussing these things and memories even if they do make me, what’s that perfect word again, CRINGE!!

Categories: Uncategorized

Quinoa flakes are great!

October 3, 2017 Leave a comment

These are great! If you are struggling for healthy breakfast options and want to steer away from porridge oats, try boiling these up for 90 seconds; they’re thick, creamy and full of protein! They can be a bit bitter though so add coconut sugar or agave nextar for sweetness. My son absolutely adores them! And because they are so quick and easy to cook, they make for a perfect breakfast option. Honestly my son can not get enough of these, he eats them plain with no sweetener or anything! Grab a bag and thank me later! 20171003_160950

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Wandering eye?!? What’s the problem?

October 3, 2017 Leave a comment

Bit of a random topic but interesting all the same. The other day I was out shopping with a girlfriend and my son and as we were entering a store, a couple were just leaving. The man made it quite obvious that he liked the look of my face, and stared during the time it took for him to walk towards, and then past us. Both my friend and I turned round only to find that he had also turned round to take another look at me. Meanwhile, his girl was completely oblivious to what was going on. My girl looked at me dumbfounded. “Is he flipping serious? I feel so sorry for his girl man like jeez”. Similarly, whilst in Spain, a guy continuously glanced over at me whilst dining with his girlfriend, going as far as to give me a smile when I accidentally caught his eye. “What a creep”, the woman I was enjoying a glass of wine with said, after witnessing the mans antics. “If that was my man he’d get a slap!”

 

Now, its events like these that get me thinking, especially as they happen pretty often, it’s got to mean something right? I mean, I always found it pretty normal, for a man to appreciate a womans looks. I don’t feel sorry for the girlfriend of a man who happens to notice a woman he finds aesthetically pleasing. I feel sorry for the girlfriend of a man who doesn’t appreciate her, pisses over the toilet seat, snores at night or has bad breath, yeah. And if a womans partner is controlling, needy, boring, rigid, broke or stupid then I will send her mental hugs and hope she works it out. But if a man looks at another woman? Why should I pity her? Is it that bad, really? I’m the sort of person who cannot stand secrets, I hate when I get to thinking of all the sorts of things that could go on behind my back without me knowing; for me, a man appreciating a womans good looks in front of me feels much “safer”, less of a threat and tbh, I’ll probably be there with him admiring her beauty. Men are wired to see beauty. They have a radar for it. It’s their natural instinct. Now lets not get it confused, when the man smiled at me at the restaurant/bar it was obvious that if I had got up and walked to the bathroom, he would have excused himself to his girlfriend and followed me there, in the hopes of getting my number or some cheap thrills. Now THAT is definitely a creep.  I don’t condone that sort of behaviour. I have no interest in men like that neither do I have any desire to entertain a man who is in a relationship. But when a man just looks, and I mean just looks, it is literally something so instinctive, so natural that I don’t think it has to be a huge deal, neither do I think it suddenly means that their girlfriend is being taken for a ride. I think any woman who believes their man does not spot attractive women when out and about is living in their own wonderfully deluded little bubble and maybe needs to get over that insecurity and belief that this is a big deal. It is not. If a man looks at me in a perverted way then yeah, I want to rip his eyes out and yes, he probably would cheat on his girlfriend but when they JUST LOOK as you pass by it really doesn’t mean you need to get the divorce papers ready. I think it is our egos that have now made it a problem. When my friend said “he is making his girl look like a fool” I said to her, “but is he? Why?”. I personally do not think she is a fool. She would be foolish if she were to find him cheating and take him back, perhaps, but not because he noticed and appreciated a pretty woman. I think we get wrapped up in worrying what others think of us, and wanting to control everything, that we have become a bit unrealistic and unreasonable in relationships. I truly believe most women would be more bothered about the woman that was being looked at, thinking they were being taken for a fool, than they would the actual act of their man looking at another woman. Which is ego shit. Who gives a damn! If you are happy and secure in your relationship then you really aren’t going to be bothered about things like that. Of course there are boundaries, and there is a limit. But the saying “what is yours will always be yours” really is something I live by and believe in. If your man is a cheating creep then he’s a cheating creep whether or not he’s looking at other women. But if he’s the man for you and who you are supposed to share life with, then that’s not going to change because he likes to admire a goddess.

 

What are your thoughts? Any personal experiences?

 

 

Categories: Uncategorized

I can eat pancakes EVERY DAY, guilt-free ☺

October 3, 2017 Leave a comment

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Honestly, give up this belief that eating healthily means eating boring, tasteless food. I love food. There is no way I am willing to eat food I don’t like in order to be healthy. You tell someone you’re a veggie/vegan and they assume you eat nuts for breakfast and leaves for dinner. I mean, I love nuts and leaves and they are definitely involved, but I also love pancakes. Pancakes for breakfast are much more exciting. These mixed berry buckwheat pancakes were insanely good. Topped with chia seeds and cinnamon and drizzled in agave nectar, you’d think it was my birthday. Hard to believe they are guilt-free right?

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Blend 1 cup of buckwheat groats to make flour, or buy ready made buckwheat flour. Add 1 banana to the blender. Add an optional less than quarter cup of chia seeds (that have sat in water for at least 5 minutes) as a substitute egg. Add water. Blend to a batter. Heat coconut oil in a pan and add batter to the hot pan. Add mixed berries to the top. Leave until small bubbles appear, flip over and wait until both sides are golden brown! Sprinkle chia seeds, extra berries and agave nectar over them. Ignore all responsibilities and demands until you have eaten your last forkful.

Categories: Uncategorized

Silence??!! Let’s cook a stew

October 3, 2017 Leave a comment

20171002_201601Can you hear that? No? Listen harder. Surely you can hear that? Nothing you say? Well that’s my point; nothing can be heard. No noise. Silence. Silence! What a rarity. It can only mean a few things; your child/children have ran away, someone has been brave enough to take your kids, or your child is/children are sleeping. Whichever it is, as a parent you know you have limited time to make use of and do something world changing. Or something practical at least. When my child naps and I get those rare minutes of peace, I tend to cook. It won’t be long before my son is pulling at my leg begging me to stop chopping and play cars with him, so if I want dinner to be ready on time and to be relatively stress free, I have to prepare it whilst the lion cub rests. I’ve found cooking stews so extremely handy during this period of “mummy you are not allowed to do ANYTHING except look at, play with, feed, sleep with, sing to, talk to or entertain me” that my almost 1.5 year old seems to be going through. Once the pot is seasoned and you’ve determined what is going in the pot, it’s a simple case of throwing in the veg and grains, shoving the lid on and leaving it to simmer. Easy peasy. And perfect for this season as well as the weather gets colder day by day.

I love to fill my stews with lentils and/or buckwheat. Buckwheat is just so hearty; it’s like a guilt-free comfort food, full of goodness, filling and versatile. This recipe below should go down a treat with all the family, and you can relax knowing that the meal is packed with healthy vitamins and nutrients for your growing baby/babies.

2 large sweet potatoes, peeled.

1 bag of spinach

3 large tomatoes or a handful of cherry tomatoes

Buckwheat groats (about half a cup)

Yellow lentils

Mushrooms

3 garlic cloves

1 large onion

To season I use thyme, ginger, coriander, curry powder, chilli flakes, cumin, turmeric and paprika.

Season the pot with the onion, garlic, tomatoes and seasonings of your choice. Add water, lentils and buckwheat and place lid on to bring to a boil for 20 minutes. Then add the sweet potatoes and mushrooms and leave to simmer for at least 15 minutes or until potatoes are tender. Put the spinach in for the last 10 minutes. Allow to cool before serving.

 

Switch it up – I love to add grilled aubergine to this dish. You can also add any veggies you like! I just don’t like my stews TOO busy. Also, try adding coconut milk for a creamier, thicker stew!

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Spread Your Wings and Fly Towards Success

August 24, 2013 Leave a comment

Success is limited to a few “lucky” individuals right? Not all of us can be privileged with success, just those whose “fate” it is to be successful right? WRONG. WRONG!! Every single one of us has the ability to be successful, as success is knowing your destiny. Once you realise your destiny it is absolutely impossible for you to not succeed. It is your DESTINY. Do you get that? It is what you are DESTINED to do. When you are destined to do something, the whole world will conspire in your favour to make it happen. That is the truth. Of course, not many of us realise our destiny, and this is where the problem occurs. Some of us don’t realise it, some of us don’t search for it, some of us don’t believe in it. And as a result, many of us are left unsatisfied and disappointed with life as we further endorse the notion that “I am just unlucky”. Bullshit! Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Search within yourself for your DESTINY. Yes, I will keep repeating that word as it should be the most important thing to you; more important than life itself. Because what is life, if it isn’t YOUR life as it is DESTINED to be?
As many of you read this, you know exactly what I’m talking about. That pulling at your heart, that stirring in your belly. The feelings you can’t shake off, the voices in your head. Telling you to change direction. Not to fear. To chase your dreams. Not to give up. What do you fear? Do you fear failing at your destiny more than you fear never realising it? If so, as common as this fear is, it’s insanity! Why, you ask? It is insanity because your DESTINY WILL NEVER FAIL YOU. If you listen to the truth of your heart, and follow its every word, you simply cannot fail. Of course, there will be obstacles, and would you not want a few? Challenges make your destiny so much more purposeful, not to mention bring strength and courage to your journey. But I guarantee,  you stay pursuing nothing but your destiny and those obstacles will eventually decrease, as you become more and more powerful; more in tune with your heart and the world and with a developed skill of spotting a problem as its approaching and knowing how to overcome it. Your confidence will grow, as you will start to see things changing around you; from your needs and desires, your accomplishments, to the way people around you respect you. Because anyone being true to themselves and not afraid to follow their destiny warrants respect. You will start to understand how important your heart is in guiding you. You will learn the tricks and patterns of your mind, and how your heart is so much closer to the truth, than your mind could ever be. And most importantly, you will develop an insatiable hunger for LIFE. You will start to LIVE, not exist.

No, not everyone’s DESTINY is to be rich and famous. And thank God for that. But whatever your destiny, it is YOUR own. And realising it is the only way you will ever reach contentment and fulfilment. So own it, nurture it, listen to and follow it. Anything else is simply a waste of time, a waste of life. And your heart will not hesitate to tell you that, after the years have passed, I promise you that. (Suddenly thought of the “mid-life crisis” Who am I? what is my life about??!) Your heart will never betray you. So I suggest you make a point, every day, of sitting down and having a conversation with your heart; check in daily to make sure you are on the right path.

DESTINY. Get that word ingrained in your mind. Now start living it.

Spread Your Wings and Fly

Spread Your Wings and Fly

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