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Approval necessary?

September 22, 2012 2 comments

 

So I recently found myself saying something not unfamiliar to many of you I’m sure…. “I’m tired of people taking the piss, people take kindness for weakness, I’m sick of everyone’s sly and selfish ways, everyone is out for themselves…. I’m DONE with people!!’ It seemed to me that I was running around doing groundwork (the hard work) whilst everyone else was doing what they wanted, when they wanted. It appeared that, everyone was turning to me, asking me for help, advice, guidance, to do something for them; it was me always pushing and encouraging others, me trying to motivate people, extending way out of my immediate team, even strangers on the street! I felt like I had wasted many years worrying about other people’s problems and not my own, and worse still, felt like the few times I did decide to present a problem, it wasn’t taken seriously!  Where was my encouragement? Everyone just kinda expected me to not need any. After a while, one feels drained. It’s like all the positive physical and mental energy gets sucked out of you and you carry the problems of the world on your shoulders. There you are, in a pickle, stressed, overloaded with work, deprived of sleep and of course a social life, but you have to keep smiling, have to motivate the people around you. Most people do not even realise what is going on. Oh, just a few work issues, nothing major. Oh she’s upset, something to do with some black history thing, you know how she is. They do not understand the amount of energy it takes to be responsible for other people’s mistakes, to have to maintain a positive energy through the crappiest of times not only for yourself but for a lot of other people who are relying on you. They have no idea that while half the time you’re smiling, inside you’re asking yourself why people are blindly funding war, or why babies are being murdered over power, greed and confusion. They do not get why you worry about the state of society, as though they are not part of it! After a while, you just learn to completely forget your problems, and put them second to everyone else’s. Besides, you have to see the bigger picture right? Caring for others is the most valuable virtue we have to offer; love. But that is another time, another post…… Integrity is doing the right thing even when no one is watching. Even when you’ve got people judging you left right and centre, people relying on you left right and centre, snakes slithering silently causing all sorts of trouble, you just have to cut the grass and keep it moving. As Jim Rohn says, you just have to smile and say, “Well isn’t that interesting….”. Whilst speaking of  Jim Rohn, he was one of the reasons, besides the others that I will soon explain to you, why I have now stopped thinking and making such statements as the ones I posed to you at the start of this piece. I seem to constantly worry in my mind of the world, of our people, what we can do to change and better ourselves together; I often find myself in a very sad place of concern for those who are being wronged; I am a Libra and I think that contributes to my strong desire for justice. At one point I vowed to myself to never do this again, to stop caring, but then I listened to one of Jim Rohns talks on a DVD, and he spoke about how when you care about other people and help them with their problems, yours just disappear! He said the more you help to continue to focus on bettering others, the more positive changes in your own life you will soon start to see. And I guess it kinda makes sense, I mean, you get what you put out right? And that doesn’t have to be exactly literal; just because you helped someone doesn’t mean that particular person should or will help you, neither does it necessarily mean they used you, neither does it mean that they were genuine, it just is what it is. But as long as you are genuine in your desire to help others and give out nothing but positivity and love, you will attract that back, even if from a different source or place than you expected or thought you wanted. And I have tended to stick to this way of thought in general anyway, of course with a few slip ups along my journey; I’m human and I’m growing.

I also remember tweeting not too long ago complaining of being “used and abused” and probably wrote something along the lines of “I’m done of letting people do me wrong and me not say anything, no more miss nice girl”, all that kinda rubbish, done helping people and speaking good of people who are only speaking bad of me, are disloyal blah blah blah, and then a fellow facebooker said that no I am not in fact done with people, that is my ego talking. He continued to say that I should continue doing what I am doing, as I am on the right and positive path. In hindsight, I’m slightly peeved that a stranger told me something I already very much knew and advise others, however I really appreciated his comment and honesty at the time, and again, like Jimmy, he is right. It is our egos that cause us to feel this way; why do we nearly always expect acknowledgement for what we do right? Surely that’s what we are supposed to do regardless, and the ones who aren’t, are the ones who should be getting themselves worked up and upset? Besides, people abusing you, being small minded, judgmental, disloyal, nasty, unreliable, I mean the list is endless, but the point is people that treat you this way or do these things tell you more about themselves than they do you, and if anything they are just a further reminder that we all really need to get it together and there is still a lot of confusion in the world. But turning your back on people, is like turning your back on yourself. How can we move forward without unity or understanding? Making a decision to spread hate instead of love or, if that’s too extreme, limiting the amount of people you reach out to and help regardless of who they are or what they’ve done you, has no beneficial value in the short or long run; not only are you now letting out a less than fully positive energy, but you’re slowing down the change that we all so much need; to accept each others differences, realise they are so less important than we think and to realise what makes us the same. What are we all striving for? What would we all love to see for ourselves and the world? I am sure, in fact pretty certain, that Peace and Love will make the top two responses.

Never allow let downs to throw you off your positive path or to change who you are as a person. Do not allow negativity or seclusion to become your defence for whenever you feel people are not appreciating you. You are here to appreciate yourself whilst helping your people and contributing to our future, and at the end of the day, it feels a lot better sitting back silently observing things and people slowly progressing and knowing you contributed to that, whether they know it or not. As long as everyone’s progressing in some way, shape or form, who cares? The most important approval worth having is self- approval; just make sure you’re always doing as much as you can to deserve it from yourself. The one’s that matter will catch on….

 

 

 

They need me to…. SHUT THE FUCK UP

July 16, 2012 1 comment

They want me to put on my Louboutins, and pose.

They need me to fall in love with the puppets on the TV screens, so that I idolise the wrong way to live.

They need me to hate myself, but to claim I love myself, by posting up lots of naked pictures so that people can “like” them.

They need me to constantly be challenged by how I look and feel, so that I constantly worry if I am fitting in, if I am accepted, if I am keeping up with “the trends”

They need me to feel insecure

They want me to hate myself so much so, that I hide my real face behind Bobby, and my real hair behind Remi

They want me to panic, so that I chase Lizzy and not myself. But I don’t even know Lizzy. I just know that she is supposed to be our Queen

They need me to buy into the false sense of hope that is sold to us continuously, so that I may also celebrate with the masses in a false sense of achievement. By this time, it will be too late.

They need me to act dumb and call it sexy. AKA Nicki minaj. No I am not having a seizure, it’s called music.

They want me to care about what others think about me, more than what I think about me

They need me lost and confused, looking for answers…. so that I come running to them and believe anything that leaves me to continue living comfortably.

They need me to keep sending money to the charities. To be honest, it doesn’t seem to be making much difference; billions have been donated but yet they still ask me for a fiver and children still die of aids. But that must be because justice costs so much right? The government are doing all that they can. I even heard FloRida donated £1,000,000 the other day. He is such a humble and caring celeb. I brought his single when I heard that.

They want me to live a lie comfortably, and to stay distracted, so that I will also die living this lie

They want me dying to live and living to die….. Living has now turned into merely surviving

They need me to serve a corporate company all week, and a club all weekend, so that at no point, do I really truly serve myself

They want me to believe that material things make me happy, so that whenever mother nature calls and I feel alone, I can fill that void with a pair of shoes

They need me to buy into success stories on the TV, so that my perception of success and what is powerful is false.

They want me to spend all day on Facebook and twitter, inside the comfort of my home, so that I spend less time outside, asking the earth for the answers.

They need me to belittle anyone that questions the system. They want me to call them conspiracy theorists, or mad men, so that I continue being a robot and living a lie. Besides, these conspiracy theorists are usually broke, right? They weren’t at the club last night popping bottles, what do they know?

They want me to chase men with money, because money and a man with lots of it is what will complete my life. It will mean that I can wear designer labels until I die. I will die in style.

They want me to tweet that I am “winning” and “yolo”. To be honest I am not quite sure why I tweet this, but to be fair we do only live once, and I am winning; I just bought a fast car AND signed a deal.

They need me to continue to degrade myself, and everyone around me, by claiming that women rule the world by using their vaginas and sexuality, and are objects of desire that can be bought as long as the man has an ego he can “back up” and plenty of money to go with it.

They need me chasing all the wrong things

They need me addicted to unhappiness. But that will never happen. Because I am so happy, can’t you see? #Winning 

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